uhhh.....*cough
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
who got to decide what words are swear words
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
Wig…
I never should’ve taught my parrot how to laugh it’s given him far too much power
do you know how embarrassing it is to have a pet that can laugh at you? I dropped my ice cream and wailed in despair and my parrot zoomed out of nowhere JUST so he could stand on the couch and laugh at me. I’m being called a dumb bitch in my own home by my OWN SON.
i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂
credit: hisduckling on youtube
If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you
A note:
I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:
Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.
Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.
And then, if you’re asked: no, you haven’t seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.Very good very important addition
over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid
the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess
the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up
plot twist: you are everyone’s first choice.
*sticks my leg in the air* give me attention
happy pride to everyone who’s still closeted
happy pride to everyone who’s been kicked out
happy pride to everyone who lives somewhere where it is illegal to love who they love
happy fucking pride to all of you, i love you with my whole heart and i promise you it will get better